Your Faith Is Sufficient

3 Nephi 17

v. 7 Have ye any that are ^asick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or ^bleprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will ^cheal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.

v. 8 For I perceive that ye desire that I should show unto you what I have done unto your brethren at Jerusalem, for I see that your ^afaith is ^bsufficient that I should heal you.

v. 9 And it came to pass that when he had thus spoken, all the multitude, with one accord, did go forth with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their ^ablind, and with their dumb, and with all them that were afflicted in any manner; and he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him.

v. 10 And they did all, both they who had been healed and they who were whole, bow down at his feet, and did worship him; and as many as could come for the multitude did ^akiss his feet, insomuch that they did bathe his feet with their tears.

This is a very difficult passage for me to read.  I have been chronically ill for four and a half years now.  I have prayed for healing, and those who love me have prayed for me to be healed.  I know that God can do all things, and that He has the power to heal me.  But He has chosen not to.  Not yet.

And when I read this passage, I wonder, is my faith sufficient?  Would He have healed me by now if I had had enough faith?  People have hinted to me that the answer is yes.  "You just need more faith..."

I have enough faith to bear this burden as long as the Lord deems it necessary for me.  I have enough faith to be patient and long-suffering.  I have enough faith to find joy and meaning in my days in spite of my illness.  I have enough faith to go to one more doctor and try one more treatment.  I have enough faith to believe that this life is still worth living.  I have enough faith to believe that I am still valuable to the people in my life who love me.  I have enough faith to keep trying to make myself a better person, every day.

Maybe that is what will lead me to have enough faith when the time comes for me to be healed.

Remembering Jesus Christ

Alma 7


     UAdd a Note 

v. 10 And behold, he shall be ^aborn of Mary, at ^bJerusalem which is the ^cland of our forefathers, she being a ^dvirgin, a precious and chosen vessel, who shall be overshadowed and ^econceive by the power of the Holy Ghost, and bring forth a son, yea, even the Son of God. 

v.11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and ^aafflictions and ^btemptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will ^ctake upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.     UAdd a Note

v. 12 And he will take upon him ^adeath, that he may ^bloose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to ^csuccor his people according to their infirmities.

I'm lucky it's the Christmas season with so many reminders to remember Him.  I also love how my Heavenly Father gives me just the message I need to hear when I need to hear it most.  A reminder and a testimony that He has taken upon Him my pains and my sicknesses.  That His bowels are filled with mercy towards me.  That He knows how to succor me.

v. 19 For I perceive that ye are in the paths of righteousness; I perceive that ye are in the path which leads to the kingdom of God; yea, I perceive that ye are making his ^apaths straight.

After yesterday's scriptures which were harsher in nature, calling me to repentance for allowing the ravenous wolves to enter my heart, here is God's reassurance.  He knows that I'm doing the best that I can, that my desires are righteous, that I am keeping the commandments and making progress.  He reassures me that through my faithfulness, I am indeed "His people," and that I qualify for the succor the Savior stands ready to offer me.

His arms are open.  Ask, and ye shall receive.  Go and find comfort there in His embrace.

Conquering Despair

Alma 5

I live with a chronic illness that keeps me pretty much housebound.  It is a constant, daily struggle to remain positive and upbeat.  Despair is waiting, every day, just outside the door.  And sometimes it seeps in and overcomes me.

Such was my day yesterday.  It settled in, and I wallowed in the darkness all day long.  I prayed.  I listened to conference talks.  I tried my mindless pursuits of watching TV and silly computer games.  I prayed some more.

It didn't lift.  I doubted my faith.  How could I keep falling back into despair?  Why was I unable to maintain meek submissiveness like a child?  Why was I not long-suffering and patient.  Why was I unable to carry this burden, shoulder this disease with grace and dignity?

I had no answers, and sleep was a welcome relief by the time night fell.  But I woke up today, and the feelings remained.

As my husband was giving me the sacrament at home yesterday, the words that stood out to me were "always remember him."  I realized that I had not remembered Him at all.  I didn't remember that my Savior had descended below all things, and more importantly, that He had already borne these particular burdens of mine.  Although I had prayed, I did not specifically come unto Christ and ask him to help me with this.

So, today I decided to try to do better.  I started my day with my scripture reading, which is focused on coming to Christ.

v. 6 And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, you that belong to this church, have you sufficiently retained in ^aremembrance the captivity of your fathers? Yea, and have you sufficiently retained in remembrance his mercy and long-suffering towards them? And moreover, have ye sufficiently retained in remembrance that he has ^bdelivered their souls from hell?

Ah, there's that word again, remembrance.

v. 13 And behold, he ^apreached the word unto your fathers, and a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their ^btrust in the true and ^cliving God. And behold, they were faithful until the ^dend; therefore they were saved.

I'm a list kind of girl.  I like to know, step by step, what I'm supposed to do.  I so want a change in my heart, to lift the despair and let peace and joy reside there once again.  How am I to do it?  By 1. humbling myself, 2. trusting in God, and 3. being faithful.

Trusting in God is an important step.  Of course I'm humble, this illness compels me to be humble.  Trusting in God means that He knows the reasons behind this illness, He knows why I have not yet been healed, He knows exactly what I need to become more like Him and to become fit for the kingdom.  He knows the day and the hour of my deliverance.  I need to trust in Him and wait.

v. 16 I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye ^ablessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?

Well, right now, um, no.  How can my works be works of righteousness when my heart is darkened by despair?  There is no room for the voice of the Spirit to guide me.  There is only wallowing and wandering and a desperate attempt to merely survive the onslaught.

v. 40 For I say unto you that whatsoever is ^agood cometh from God, and whatsoever is ^bevil cometh from the devil.

I know the source of my despair.  It is not from my Heavenly Father, who wants me to find joy in every season.  Satan must laugh during days like these, because he has me bound.  I am no good, to myself or to others.

v. 59 For what shepherd is there among you having many sheep doth not watch over them, that the wolves enter not and devour his flock? And behold, if a wolf enter his ^aflock doth he not drive him out? Yea, and at the last, if he can, he will destroy him.

v. 60 And now I say unto you that the good shepherd doth call after you; and if you will hearken unto his voice he will bring you into his fold, and ye are his sheep; and he commandeth you that ye suffer no ravenous wolf to enter among you, that ye may not be destroyed.

The Lord is my shepherd.  If I come unto Him, He will drive the ravenous wolves out of my heart.  He will not suffer that I be destroyed.

Today I will remember Him.  I will cry unto Him often, asking Him to let me take His yoke upon me, that my burdens will not feel so heavy upon my shoulders.  I will pray.  I will talk to Him.  I will share my pain, my frustration, my sorrow.  I will ask Him to help me drive the wolves away.  I will find some good to do.  I will let Him wrought a mighty change in my heart.

With His Stripes We Are Healed

Mosiah 14

  3 He is ^adespised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

  4 Surely he has ^aborne our ^bgriefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

  5 But he was ^awounded for our ^btransgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are ^chealed. 

 

I can read these verses over and over again.  They make me feel so much love for my Savior.  A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, who has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.  Sometimes, in my darkest trials, the Spirit whispers to me that there is someone who understands exactly what I'm going through.  Only one.  He alone knows just how painful this is, just how much strength and courage it takes to get through this day, or even through this one moment.  He has already borne this grief.  He knows.

There is something amazingly comforting knowing you are not alone, that you don't have to carry your burdens alone.  It is like being yoked to Him; He takes the weight off your shoulders just enough that you can bear it.  Without Him, it is crushing.  Just too much.

This is what I think about when I try to understand the atonement.  This is how I strive to apply the atonement in my life.  I come to my Savior, Jesus Christ, with my burdens, and I lay them at His feet.  He whispers to my heart, "I know.  I understand.  Follow me, and we'll get through this."  And then the miracle occurs.  I am healed.

I've explained to my children the miracle of the atonement isn't just that Christ has taken away our sins.  It is that He heals us from the pain in our lives that drove us to sin in the first place.  The evil that we do, the sins that we commit are usually a poor attempt to muffle the pain in our lives.  It is because we are healed that we have no more desire to do evil, that we can find joy in doing good continually.